As previously noted in this space, the prefrontal cortex has been identified as the culprit that coerces us into doing things we are not supposed to do. I’m not talking about murder, mayhem and madness, though lack of self-control surely plays a huge role in antisocial and criminal behavior.
The tantalizing aroma of coffee triggers the pursuit of rewards—good and bad. It may motivate you to start the day off right or to put off doing what needs to be done.
It’s the bad stuff we do to ourselves when we should know better. That includes my weakness—eating too much —despite ample evidence on my waistline that it will shorten my life along with my breath. Then there’s all that other self-destructive stuff like spending money we don’t have, wanton consumption of alcohol, smoking, snorting, shooting up, sexual trysting outside cohabitation and unnatural preoccupation with technology.
They are all things which promise rewards—the reason we are drawn to them in the first place—but are more likely to prove unsatisfactory, even disappointing when the acts are consummated.
Yet, though our rational mind may tell us that chocolate gorging, excessive mall shopping and obsessive smart phoning never deliver the rewards they promise, we keep going back for more. This is instant gratification, and because it doesn’t last very long, it puts an ominous slant on the old Lays Potato Chips taunt, “Bet you can’t eat just one.” You eat one, maybe because you are genuinely hungry, and then another and another until it goes beyond what you need to what you crave.
You are craving it, not because the body needs it for nourishment, but because the brain is telling you, “Go ahead, have another and good things will happen.” We know potato chips have no nutritional value and are essentially comfort food, but we lose all reason when the dopamine kicks in.
It is the release of dopamine, a chemical neurotransmitter, in our brains that psychologists and brain scientists are saying attract us to both good and bad stuff. It may be the aroma of coffee or photo layouts in catalogues, but it triggers something in us that catapults us into shopping sprees when we are already in debt or ordering a piece of pie in a diner when we aren’t even hungry. In short, dopamine makes dopes of all of us.
Did you know that if you do something good, it provides the rationalization for doing something bad? Think about it. It creates a sense of entitlement, according to Dr. Kelly McGonigal in her book, The Willpower Instinct, and now you have an excuse for being bad next time. Good behavior gives you license for some balancing bad behavior. You can moralize anything, even positive things you plan to do but have not yet got around to doing. You went to the home improvement store and bought the paint and caulk you’ll need for that long delayed weatherization project. Seems like a good excuse for an evening of fine dining or a weekend excursion that would be better spent getting that job done.
Studies show that people overindulge at a meal or take comfort in sweets because they plan to exercise the next morning or start on a strict diet the next week. Usually the intention never materializes, but the willpower lapse has done its damage.
There is a difference between pursuing and achieving happiness, as McGonigal explains in her book (subtitled “How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What you Can do to Get More of It”) and dopamine is purely about the former. It is a very primitive response, reverting back to fight-or-flight, but a calorie-laden cheese cake has replaced the saber tooth tiger. The reward for the latter is living to face another day—a primal form of happiness— and the latter is what your brain is beckoning as a more immediate and attainable pursuit of happiness.
This is all very complex stuff, and the reason we lose so many willpower battles is because our reaction to surrendering to our baser desires is feeling guilty or getting mad at ourselves. You would think these reactions would be the motivation we need to bolster willpower, but quite the opposite applies. Failing does not make us stronger. It makes us weaker, more apt to fail again.
Stress also makes us weaker, according to this school of self-control scholarship, and we need to reward ourselves in order to survive times of stress—or so this part of our brain would have us believe. If you get behind on a project, you are more likely to find ways of putting it off—and that often means seeking some kind of reward like watching that football game on TV or a mall trip triggering more dopamine.
Of course, for most of us, we get it done when our job or reputation is on the line, but at a very stressful price. That means, with this accomplishment, we are entitled to an even greater reward. Whatever that reward may be, you may be assured it will never be enough. It doesn’t matter. You will continue the cycle of the mindless seeking of rewards as stepping stones to happiness.
The answer is more about thinking rationally about what you are doing and what the consequences for your reward will be. It’s not necessarily about abstinence or self-denial, which are seen as tests of character. I personally think that character does play a role in what we choose to do or not to do, but it also makes sense that lack of willpower is not so much a weakness as it is failing to understand the immediate rewards that entice us.
